The only thing worse than waking up in a pool of blood is not waking up in a pool of blood after falling asleep in a bed full of the stuff.
Where did it go? Has somebody mysteriously cleaned it up? Or did I do it without knowing, in which case where are my sheets?
I hate mysteries so am likely to be in a foul mood today unless someone can help me get to the bottom of this. Normally, of course, I would call the police, but lately they seem to be more concerned with 'locating the body' and 'informing the relatives' than sorting out my bedsheet problems which I find very rude indeed.
- Mr Winston
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